I wrote a post not long ago called The Journey of Faith in which I kind of danced around what was really going in our family. Switching to special needs (SN) proved to be a huge step of that faith journey. Faith because I was the only one hearing the Call. Scott was willing to follow along because he knew I felt it so strongly- another step of faith on his part.
My friend continued to send me lists upon lists and I kept wondering if I would really know SJ if I saw her. Everyone said I would. I really can't explain how it happens... I did pray continuously through the search.
The day before my birthday, my friend sent an agency list and I found an adorable little one on it that I just had to call on. I was a nervous wreck calling and fully expected them to say she had 15 families waiting to review her file OR we can't let you review because your paperwork is not updated... but that was not the case... the lady on the other end of the phone said I can send you her file right now. All of a sudden I became dizzy thinking this could be our daughter.
Why did I think it might be her? Well, they sent me the file, she had two of the needs we had listed, and... she looked just like Olivia!!! Let me tell you this story...
About a year and a half ago, I met my friend Lynn through another adoptive mom and we hit it off immediately. She lives about an hour from me and we often meet to let the girls play. She is also the person that taught me how to sew OVER the PHONE! That is crazy!!! True but CRAZY! One day during one of our long talks via phone, she said God had spoken to her about our adoption when we met and said Olivia would play a huge part in adopting SJ. She didn't know how and she didn't tell me until later on that she knew we would switch to SN too.
How does that fit with the story of the file??? The little girl could have been Olivia's sister when I looked at her and when I sent her pic to Lynn, she screamed on the phone that this HAD to be ShayleeJoy. God had said this would happen and now it had (so we thought). After going through the file, we discovered that both were from the same province, same city, and SAME orphanage and foster care organization. Now are you thinking it was her too? I sent the file to Scott and he thought she was sweet and really didn't say much more. Later I got a text that he wanted to take me to dinner for my birthday and we would talk about it.
We had a wonderful dinner and it came time to talk about the little girl's file. We just kept looking at her and talking about all that we knew. At one point, Scott looked at me with complete seriousness and said, "I need to tell you something." I almost fainted not knowing what he was about to say but it was the best birthday present I could have received...
He was sitting at his desk Tuesday during lunch and after listening to Andy Stanley and music by Chris Tomlin, he opened a blog I had sent him (kind of as a joke because the family had adopted about 10 children and I asked him if he thought I was the crazy one). At the bottom was a video of some orphans in Africa that were so sick and a five year old was taking care of the babies. He said he was SO broken hearted and MOVED then heard God say clearly that we were to go to China to get ShayleeJoy.
I have to say, I had a breakdown right there in the restaurant. It was what I had wanted to hear him say all along... it just had to be in God's timing and I had to be obedient to what God was telling me. It couldn't be about what Scott thought. It had to be what God was saying to each of us individually. And then it became what WE thought in God's perfect will.
Of course I was convinced this little girl was SJ but we both agreed we would wait to hear from two doctors the next day. One was a dr lots of adoptive families get evals from and the other our own pediatrician. We would have to wait another day to make a decision... and you will have to wait to hear the rest of the story. More to come...